Where all of the nutjobs go to play

(editor's note - this doesn't apply to everyone on the board - just a few of the special ones)
Since before Bailey was born I have lurked on an online bulletin board where other mothers of similar aged children go to bitch/gain support. It amazes me what people will post so publicly - I’ve heard parent educators talk about how you find the worst parents at (fill in the blank - the public pool when they’re not watching their children, Target when they’re not watching their children, the playground when they’re not watching their children...you get the gist). This board kills me. Tired of soap operas? Join a public bulletin board. I think that you may actually find that all of the really crummy parents live there.

At this point there are many women who have been posting there for just over two years (that’s how long I’ve been lurking - occasionally posting). In that two years I’ve seen some serious drama. First, I can’t figure out how these women find the time to post as often as they do. I have a very active toddler and I can spend time on the computer during naps and after she’s gone to bed. There are moms who at this point have over 4,000 posts. That’s a little more time than I’d want to spend with cyber buddies. Crazy me - I prefer to talk to someone that I know well IN PERSON.

The second thing that stuns me is how personal people will get. I understand the TMI questions during pregnancy (should this be coming out of there, does yours look like this). What I don’t understand is sharing personal information (my financial status, information about my sex life, discussion of my IRL - in real life - friends). You see, I don’t mind sitting and talking to my friends about challenges that I face, my joys, my frustrations. You know, my life. But, when I’m posting this stuff on a bulletin board I’m sharing it with my new BFF’s, plus every person (like myself) who lurks or belongs to the board. As I recall there were somewhere around 300 women on this board - that doesn’t include the 12 “birth clubs” per year and the 12 years of boards. So, it’s like taking out a mini classified ad - you’re sharing this information with the world!! So, the woman who has just left her husband (he was a louse), quit her job (they were unfair), and is hoping that her tax return arrives TODAY because otherwise she won’t have groceries and it’s everyone else’s fault, expects the board to just send money? I haven’t figured out the thought process.

Finally, and this is the one that really boggles my mind. I can’t believe how women are so willing to share their crappy parenting choices so publicly. There was a woman who very willingly shared about hitting her child “up the side of the head” and couldn’t believe that the principal at this child’s school threatened to report her. (how dare he take a child’s word over the parent’s). The woman who bragged about curing her child’s biting problem by biting him. The parents who are cool with fighting in front of their kids. The moms who allow their significant others to stay out drinking all night, or to play video games all day, or to treat them without respect. The parent who is sure that their child needs to be potty trained right now (um, they’re 16 months old - they can’t say bowel movement, let alone control it) and ridicules their child for going potty in their pants. These can really grate on you. These are the ones that I typically respond to. I’ve been known to suggest that publicly sharing these tips could lead to justified visits from protective services.

I’m probably not the most popular mom on this board, but that hasn’t ever been my goal. Truth is, my goal is to avoid being the stupidest one. Seeing as at this point I haven’t beaten my child, yelled at her in public, dropped her, watched her roll off of the bed (because I was only going to step away for a minute), or watched her fall down the stairs because I forgot to put up the child safety gate, I think I’m well on my way. And, I’ll never tell how she managed to swallow something in the playroom that I can’t identify (oh, how I still hope it was just a Ting). That’s something that I’ll only share with my close friends.